Days 23-24: PN23
Yesterday was a hard day. So was today. Not gonna lie. In fact, it’s been a hard week.
So much in my world is spinning, and I’m not feeling like I’m winning.
Family concerns, harassment from multiple coworkers, accounting exams, pressure and chaos from so many sides. But at least I spoke with my BFF tonight, and as always, I feel better. I’m doing my best to hold onto what I believe is real and true—like my relationship with my BFF across the country from me—and that is worth something. I’m working hard to improve my present by learning from my past so I can have a secure and happy future. Easier said than done, as usual, but I’m making it happen. Learning to say NO is definitely helping.
While I was at the tax office today, I struggled to keep going. Even while there, I continued to be “hit” with things that overwhelm and upset me. But I kept going. I didn’t let my frustration and emotion take me under like it has for so many decades. Instead, I said NO to more hours, and I went home early so I could take my accounting exam. But first, I took a nap so I could think clearly. It was a good choice. Preliminary score was solid.
So what did I say NO to today?
Pushing myself past my exposed limits. I actually recognized that I am in my personal danger zone and allowed myself to stop fighting through it.
Giving into my shadow emotions. Instead of going limp, I kept going. This is a big deal because I often throw my hands up in disgust and walk away. I’m really trying to change that. Today, I was successful.
Letting my anxiety rob me of recalibrating myself. I’m glad I took the nap and watched a couple of TV shows. I needed the break from all the emotional action.
Thinking the scary thoughts and letting them control my actions. Instead, I got a clearer picture of this business and website, and I’m excited. Nervous, but excited, too.
So, as I wind down from a very chaotic 6-day workweek and all the emotional upheaval, I am so glad to have this blog to remind me that saying NO is powerful for me at this point in my life. Everything is going to be fine because it already is.
Peace be with you.
