Day 49: PN23

Monday: Today I said NO to total honesty (my default) and said YES to saying as little as possible.

I lost my temper at the restaurant on Saturday; on Sunday, I had the conversation. If it happens like that again, we will “need to part ways”.

Today I said NO to total honesty and said YES to keeping my job.

I just posted a huge litany under the Journal tab about my past 3 years, and it is all true and it is everything that has contributed to my losing my temper on Saturday.

The good news is I’m learning a new skill. How to keep my mouth shut.

Turns out people say they want to be told everything, but they really don’t. So today I practiced being quiet. I used to call it “not caring”, but that causes too much emotional dissonance. Perhaps it really is as simple as staying quiet about what I think, what I see, what I know. I like helping people, but not everyone wants to be helped.

This is a big. I’ve been challenged by this for my whole life. And while my dad would say, “Look! You’re growing up!”, I can rest assured that I’m simply learning how to play their game. Gosh, I don’t like how that sounds, but it’s true. Work politics are strange and elude me.

Today I said NO to using my words and said YES to being “professional”.

Boy am I grateful for this blog.